Weblog

Monday, 28 September 2009

  • A Warrior at My Window

    If there is one thing that I resigned myself to living in Chicago it is this: I rarely get to see the stars. We live right in Chicago, the South Loop, to be specific, and I rarely see a star. But in the wee hours of the morning I looked out to see an old fried: Orion. He was making his way down Michigan as if he were looking for something, or someone. I was so excited to see him. Orion is the first constellation that I could locate on my own. I looked up at the sky and saw the three stars that make his belt, then I looked for the shoulders, and they there were! It was Orion, first constellation. He’s still my favorite constellation. When I look up into the night sky, I look for him first. See if he’s out. I was very disappointed at the women’s retreat I went on this summer. The last night a group of us sat around the fire, making s’mores, talking, and having a great time. It was on those times. One of those rare windows where possiblity crackles around you and you know, with these women in my life, anything is possible. I was drinking in the night sky. I don’t get to see that many stars often, so I drink it in when I do. But my beloved didn’t show up. He must have been rising later that night.

    The biggest negative about living in Chicago is that you don’t get to see the stars that much. Every once in a while I’ll catch two or three hanging out, their pulses breaking thru all the light. But tonight I looked out of my window before going to bed, and there he was right outside my window. I swear he waved. Since I’ve started typing this clouds have moved and cloaked him. That’s okay. I feel the chill in the air, and I feel the wildness in the air. A storm is coming. Who knows what battles will be fought beyond the clouds tonight with all those warriors and heroes living there? Orion is cloaked and waiting, an arrow notched in his bow. I’m sure I’ll hear the battle later on tonight.

    And I am very glad that I caught a glimpse of my friend, Orion, dancing right outside my window before the wind and storm take him into battle.

Tuesday, 18 August 2009

  • It's August! How did that happen?

    I have a little under two weeks until I give the workshop I am presenting at the "Whose Church?" conference. It's a conference for people who teach Sunday School, small groups and spiritual formation in the Chicago Episcopal Diocese. My workshop is on teaching the women of the Bible. And I really need to get more done everyday than I am. Sometimes it's slow going and sometimes I just plain procrastinate, but I've got to get my head down and go at this point. It's been awhile since I had a deadline. It's probably a good thing for me. I'll also be teaching a workshop at the diocese convention in November. Not sure if it will be the same though.

    I also need to go to Trader Joe's and the Farmers Market today. My grocery shopping has gotten thrown off due to the headaches I've had for the last couple of weeks. And I need to find a new doctor because my primary care physician is no longer in my insurance network, which nobody bothered to tell me about. I think if your primary care physcian is no longer in the network, either the doctor's office or insurance company ought to send you a letter and let you know that you will be paying through the nose if you continue to see that doctor (the doctor I've had since I moved to Chicago), but no. Apparently I'm going to have to go online and periodically check to see if my doctors are still in the network. Fortunately, my OB/GYN and psychiatrist are still in the network. I have found a couple of doctors at Northwestern I'm going to check out. I also need to make an appointment with my psychiatrist; the depression is rearing its head again. Part of it is I'm not exercising or practicing yoga, which I really need to get back to.

    I have discovered that Extra Strength Excedrin works wonders on headaches, and it's keeping them under control. If that stops working before I get into see a doctor, to urgent care I go. But so far, so good. I think a lot of it is sinuses. The jet stream is setting right over us, and I don't think the sinuses like it very much plus big storms keep moving through or around us. I normally don't have much problem with my sinuses in the summer, but this has been a very odd year weather wise (which is a huge understatement, to say the least).

    And now I have to do decide what to blog about on the professional blog. Hope everyone has a good day!

Thursday, 18 June 2009

  • Wow, it's been awhile since I was here. Life has been busy--mainly with our church's womens retreat. I was the main organizer, and it kept me pretty busy. One of our women has a house down in southern Indiana in Brown County. We loaded up Friday and headed down. And we had a lot of fun. There was a pond right there and that's pretty much where I camped out. Brought my bathing and suit and a ton of sunblock and sat in a chair until I got hot and then I went for swim. Friday we had snacks and wine as everyone was coming in. We had a wonderful brunch at the Story Inn in Story, IN (the closest town) Saturday. Then some headed to Nashville to shop, some to horseback ride, and the bums by the pond. We cooked together than night: grilled chicken, tuna, and lots of veggies, and an awesome chocolate mousse. Then we built a fire and had schmores! 4 or 5 of us stayed up until 1 AM talking around the fire. And you could see stars! (A rarity in Chicago.) I star gazed for quite awhile too. Sunday morning we had own our little worship service then made breakfast, ate, cleaned, and headed out. It was really, really fun and we all got to know each other better. A lot of community was built. Monday I crashed. I really needed a recovery day.

    My next big project is I am going to be teaching a workshop at a retreat in Mundelein in August. I've decided the workshop is going to be about how to bring out the women of the Bible and teach them, since they get glossed over so much. I'll also be preaching again in August. Then there's getting the work blog caught up (I haven't blogged there since June 1 either! Yikes!) and working on the #$%#@ D#!%^ book propsal, which I have to just write. I've spent far too much time researching, and plotting and researching and planning, and now it's this big, overwhelming monster. I just need to write it and be done with it.

    So that is what's been keeping me busy. And I will have some pictures of the retreat up soon.

    Oh yeah: The Hubby and I are going to see Fiddler on the Roof tonight! Squeeeee! I've always wanted to see it live, and now I will see it. Woot!

Monday, 01 June 2009

  • What's Been Keeping Me Busy

    I preached yesterday for the first time at my church. It went very well. Here is the sermon:

    She has been here from the beginning, stirring, creating, bringing form to chaos, and life to dust. In the beginning she brooded over the watery chaos waiting for Godde to give the word. In the fire, thunder, and smoke of Sinai she guarded the holiness of Godde and showed that approaching this godde should not be taken lightly. When Elijah looked for Godde in fire, earthquake, and a storm, she came in sheer silence to show that she didn’t always appear with the flash and panache that human beings expect.

    She gave birth to the church and is the One who gives us our unity, giftings, and words. But we don’t talk about her that much. In fact, the Church has never talked about the Holy Spirit much at all. She gets brushed to the side. She’s the runt of the Trinity no one wants to claim. And there’s a reason for this. The Holy Spirit scares us. We can’t control her. We can’t put restraints on her. We have our nice neat boxes for the other two members of the Trinity. Godde the Father and Mother is categorized with all of the attributes of Godde and put in the appropriate box. Godde the Son is neatly categorized by word and deed and placed in his box. For centuries theologians, scholars, teachers, and preachers have tried to do the same thing with the Spirit. But how do you put wind into a box?

    I don’t think it’s an accident that in the Hebrew and Greek spirit, wind, and breath are the same word. All three are taken forgranted and none are really under our control. My favorite metaphor for the Spirit is wind. I’m originally from Oklahoma and have lived in the Midwest for 27 years, so I know something about wind. Wind is unpredictable. You don’t know what it’s going to do. It can give you a wonderful cool breeze on a hot summer day. It can also destroy acres of land and flatten towns and part of cities. As Jesus told Nicodemus you can’t see either the wind or the Spirit but you can feel them. You don’t know where either comes from or where they are going. Wind is not something anyone can control. It decides when it blows and how. It can choose to be still and silent or roaring hundreds of miles per hour. No one tells the wind where to blow, but it will blow you a few blocks up the street on certain days. It’s wonderful when it acts like we think it should, and it’s disastrous when it decides to show its power in straight line winds and tornadoes.

    I think this is why we don’t hear too much about the Holy Spirit. We just can’t fit her into those nice, neat systematic theology boxes we put Godde the Father and Mother and Godde the Son in. We can’t even pretend to control her. What do we do with this wonky member of the Trinity who doesn’t fit into all of our nice, neat little boxes with the nice neat little attributes fixed to her box? The Spirit does what she wants and blows where she wants. When she gives a nice breeze of inspiration during private prayer, we love her. When she blows us out of our comfort zones to be peacemakers and love those we’d rather not, we’re not too sure about her and her methods.

    Just like the wind, fire cannot be controlled either. We love the illusion we control fire in the pits and fireplaces of life, but then a bush fire starts and devastates thousands of square miles. It burns everything it comes across, blown by the unpredictable wind. We like to think the Spirit enriches our lives. We don’t like to think about the devastation that same Spirit can cause. Like the wind and the fire we cannot control Godde’s Spirit. She blows where she wills, convicts where she wills, redeems where she wills, and blows us kicking and screaming into obeying the Beatitudes instead of just giving them lip service.

    We see the unpredictable and powerful side of Godde in both the Ezekiel and Acts readings for today. In a vision Ezekiel sees a field of dried, strewn out bones. It looks as if they died in battle, no one buried them. This was an ancient way of making sure people didn’t move onto the next world after death. This is how the Jews saw themselves. They were in captivity, and their land was gone. They had no hope. They would always be captives in a strange land.

    But Godde gives Ezekiel a vision, an incredible vision. Godde commands Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones and tell them to come together and become bodies once again. But the bodies are not living just as the human made of clay in Genesis was not living. Then Godde tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the four winds and tell them to blow life back into these corpses. The wind comes and blows through the bodies giving those who had been long dead new life just as Godde’s breath gave life to the first human. Godde’s Spirit once again blows through the earth and gives life. Just as the Spirit gave new life to these long dead people, so will the Spirit blow into the lives of the Jews and restore them as a people in their land.

    In Acts the Spirit is blowing again. This time it’s a huddled little group in a room who have been hiding out and praying for 10 days. Their Messiah has been crucified, resurrected, and now has ascended into heaven. He’s gone again, and left them the responsibility to build the Kingdom of Godde on earth. No pressure there. Jesus told them to wait until the Holy Spirit came. But what exactly did that mean?

    It meant something they could not control. She came blowing through the room they were in and blew them out into the streets to proclaim what they had been hiding: the power of God in Jesus Christ, the Messiah. She inspired them with her fire and put her words in their mouths. They spoke in different languages with their Galileean accents to show that it was not the disciples alone who were doing this.

    She gave them a new understanding of Scriptures. In Joel’s prophecy the day of the Yahweh is a day of judgment and disaster. Godde vindicates Israel but the nations around Israel suffer Godde’s fury. Now Godde’s Spirit comes to proclaim salvation to all who believe. And God’s Spirit is no longer limited to just anointed leaders like kings and priests. Godde’s Spirit is poured out on all to proclaim what Godde has done. The young and old, male and female, free and slave are in-spirited to tell those around them about Godde’s love and compassion shown in Jesus. No one is left out.

    At this point it appears that the Spirit will once again just be for Israel, for the Jews. But this is just the beginning, and the Spirit is going to show that she cannot be restrained and held in one nation, race, or group of people. She blows where she wills among the Gentiles showing them Godde’s love and mercy, and they too will be saved.

    Last week in her sermon Vicki noted that as the disciples go and proclaim Jesus as the Messiah they bring Godde back to earth. As the disciples proclaim and show the love of Christ, Godde comes back to earth for good, never to leave again. We see this in this week’s readings. The Holy Spirit does not act without a human counterpart. Ezekiel has to prophesy to the bones and the four winds for life to be resurrected. The apostles and disciples are praying and waiting when the Spirit comes and impels them out into the street.

    I’m still not sure whether it’s to Godde’s credit or discredit that she insists on working through us. But that’s what she does. We might never know which way the Holy Spirit is going to blow, but we do know that she is going to blow around and through us. Blowing us out of our rooms and sanctuaries. Blowing us out of our regular haunts and the normal people we hang out with. She blows us onto new roads and into new places to continue to bring Godde’s presence into our world. She continues to empower people to shout out the good news that judgment is not Godde’s last word. That Godde’s last word has always been and will always be forgiveness, love, and mercy. “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved!” Godde’s Spirit blows into our lives, so that we can live Christ-like lives in our world, and that is Godde’s final word.



Friday, 15 May 2009

  • It was a gray and rainy day

    Actually it is a gray and rainy day. The rain is coming steadily down. I felt like a drowned rat when I got back from grocery shopping, and it's only two blocks there and two blocks back. I was ecstatic because we didn't need that much this week, and I got out of the store for under $50 and that includes flowers! Sweet. I still need to make a Trader Joe's run, but that will wait until Monday. I have to clean house today. It's been awhile since I mopped all the floors and dusted, and it needs it. Plus I'm ready to do some de-cluttering. We're both pile people, and the piles need to be contained before they infiltrate the whole condo. Piles do that.

    While I'm cleaning, I'm also going to be de-cluttering my brain. My vision for my blogging and online writing is growing, and I also need to see what ideas are just cluttering up my brain and need to be let go off. I need to think through where I want to go from here and also play with a business name and where this whole "business" (i. e. Shawna's one woman show) is going. So it's time to clear out and clean up the brain as well as the house.

    So what are clearing out or cleaning up?

Shawnari

  • Visit Shawnari's Xanga Site
    • Name: Shawna
    • Country: United States
    • State: Illinois
    • Metro: Chicago
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/26/2004

About Me

  • I am a writer, storyteller, and theologian living in Chicago, IL. My ministry is to help women who have been silenced and suppressed by a religious tradition. I minister to women through my blog, Life in the Spirit, Life in the City (http://www.ShawnaAtteberry.com) and speaking engagements. I am currently working on my first book, Career Women of the Bible, and I speak about women in the Bible and women, religion, and spirituality. This is my personal blog where I write about whatever I want to.

Pulse